Shore Therapy

Providing a wide variety of therapy services in Browns Bay, Auckland

Postnatal Depression and Anxiety

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Most of us have an idea of what postnatal depression is, but its important to understand the scope to which it can affect indivduals and families.Postnal Depression

Postnatal depression can include both depression and anxiety and can occur anywhere within the first year after the birth of your child. It is thought that somewhere between 10-20% of new mothers (this includes mums with baby number 2, 3, etc) may experience diagnosable postnatal depression.

There are a few widely accepted risk factors which many professionals believe may increase the probability of postnatal mental health issues forming. This includes but isn’t limited to:

  • A history of mental health issues – depression, anxiety and most other mental health conditions.
  • A lack of support before, during and after the birth – this can include issues with the relationship of the child’s parents, as well as a lack of social support such as isolation from family (e.g. Living in a different town/country from the rest of family etc.)
  • Life stresses – money issues, trouble at work, relationship problems etc.
  • Difficulties within the pregnancy itself – this can range from severe morning sickness (Hyperemesis Gravidarum), to break through bleeding, regular ED admissions or requiring extra scans etc.
  • Difficult birth – Post natal mental health issues appear to be more common in those who had tricky births and deliveries – emergency caesarean surgery, loss of blood, use of vontouse or forceps, episiotomies etc.
  • Health of the infant – if the baby is born with health issues, a lot of stress is placed on the family – particularly the parents. Often parents who have an unwell child at birth struggle with feelings of guilt, sadness and stress, which are all risk factors for depression and anxiety.
  • Lower socio-economic families – in the 2015 New Mothers Mental Health Survey (2015) it was found that mothers coming from a ‘Low Household income’ (Under $40,000) were more likely to develop post-partum mental health issues.
  • Issues with the baby after birth i.e. feeding issues, colic, sleeplessness etc

Many feelings and thought patterns associated with postnatal depression and anxiety are normal to feel as we adjust to life with a new baby so it is important to be able to recognize when help is required. Here are a few signs and symptoms to be aware of:

  • Feelings of hopelessness, confusion and sadness which linger.
  • A belief that you can’t cope. Not just one-off thoughts, but reoccurring or constant thoughts
  • Irritable and angry for no known reason
  • No pleasure in usual activities
  • Changes to sleeping and eating – above and beyond what is expected with a new baby
  • A lack of concern over appearance and self-care
  • Negative thoughts about the baby, an unwillingness to hold or care for the baby or thoughts of harming the baby
  • Being overly anxious, overwhelming uncertainty and excessive worry and fear
  • Feelings of guilt or worthlessness
  • Difficulty thinking clearly and making every day decisions.

The ‘Baby Blues’ are common in the first few weeks after baby is born which include several of the thoughts and feelings listed above. Postnatal depression and anxiety is when these issues linger for an extended period of time or become so severe that they interfere with everyday life affecting the care and health of both mum and baby.

As new parents, we often turn all of our attention to our new baby and forget to look after ourselves. It is important to remember that we need to be well in order for us to provide the best care for our children. The ‘Fourth Trimester’ or first 12 weeks after our baby is born is still a hugely important area for both mum and baby with a lot of physical and hormonal changes occurring, not to mention an adjustment to family dynamics, routines and our mental health. This period is when support systems are invaluable. Make use of family, friends, support groups, health professionals, call lines and mental health professionals. It is important to remember that a happy, healthy mum is going to immensely help your baby.

Recently there has been some media coverage about postnatal mental health and lack of help, delay of treatment and gaps within the current health system. Here in Auckland, there are several places you can reach out, detailed below. However, Shore Therapy caters to many parents dealing with different types of post-natal issues. We are baby friendly and often will have mum and dad in our offices, seeking therapy together. Babies are more than welcome to come along as we understand that separation, child care etc… is not always an option. Northland has high rates of post-natal issues, why this is, we’re not quite sure, but help is still available. If you want to visit Shore Therapy in their offices in the Whangarei area or Auckland Click Here to make a booking online or send us an email for more information.

Where to get help:

Bullying, Cyber Bullying and Mental Health

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bullyingBullying has unfortunately become more frequent in our society. Many of us associate bullying with children and youth, and while it is very prevalent in these demographics, it can also occur at any age, and in any setting. Work place bullying and cyber bullying can occur far more often than many of us realise and it can be very damaging to our mental health.

Firstly, it is important to understand what bullying actually is. The oxford dictionary defines a bully as “A person who habitually seeks to harm or intimidate those whom they perceive as vulnerable” 1.

To expand on this definition further, there are four main factors that are associated with bullying:

  • Harming another individual intentionally
  • A misuse of power within a relationship
  • Repetition – bullying is not usually a ‘one off’
  • Behavior that can cause harm

However, there are instances when someone’s aggression is not bullying, but can appear so when it feels directed at us. These often require a different approach, so it is important to be able to identify the differences, so the most appropriate action can be taken. These instances can include:

  • A one-off fight
  • A disagreement between friends where there is no difference in power
  • One off acts of meanness
  • A single act of social rejection

The important things to remember when identifying bullying is:

  • Intentional harm, power imbalance and repetitive behaviours 2

In a Victoria University of Wellington study, a survey of staff throughout schools around the country was completed. In this study, 94% of participants indicated that bullying occurred in their schools 3

A survey of 1700 participants demonstrated that one in five workers have experienced work place bullying 4.

Cyberbullying rates are on the rise, with all age groups being susceptible. It is believed that younger age groups are more likely to experience cyber bullying with approximately 46% of 18-19 year old’s experiencing some form of digital bullying 5.

Bullying has become a daily struggle for many individuals, and its impacts can be far reaching. In the Northland, Whangarei and Auckland areas, the suicide rates have increased, so much so, that the highest number of suicides was recorded in the 2016-2017 year compared to the last ten years. The highest proportion being those under 24years old 6.

There is numerous research that link bullying with a range of mental health issues, such as, lower self-esteem, higher rates of depression, stress, feelings of hopelessness and a higher probability of self-harm or suicide. For many individuals, frequent bullying can leave them feeling alone, victimized and with no options left to escape the threatening and abusive behavior. This may lead to an increase in suicidal or self-harming thoughts and tendencies 7.

In our youth, lower school performance, lower academic performance and lower school spirit has been linked to those who are bullied, both in person, or through digital media. This may lead to further social withdrawal and unwillingness to participate in social events which may continue to translate into adult life.

Many people who suffer bullying in school or high school believe that bullying had an impact on their mental health, and that this continued to impact the rest of their lives. However, with the likes of work-place bullying and cyber bullying, anyone can be vulnerable, and unfortunately, those who have been targeted in the past are more likely to be targeted by others as they seem to be “easy marks”. Low self-esteem and a history  of not standing up for oneself may contribute to this.

Along with depression, anxiety, low self-esteem and self-harming, a higher prevalence of psychosomatic problems can be evident. Psychosomatic problems are physical symptoms or ailments which are caused, aggravated or associated with mental factors. This can include many complaints ranging from skin disorders such as eczema and psoriasis, to heart issues and high blood pressure, to irritable bowel like symptoms. All of these issues can translate into lifetime problems and will continue to have an impact on a person as a whole. Unfortunately, this can cause a vicious cycle as some of these symptoms are visible or noticeable in everyday life and can cause an easy reason to be bullied (this is more obvious in children and youth). This in turn can make depressive and anxious thoughts increase which can then worsen visible symptoms. A good example of this is any skin conditions. It is easy to judge a person who has a visible rash or skin irritation, for which they are already feeling self-conscious over, however, actively criticising someone for it will only intensify these feelings and could therefore, make the rash more inflamed 8.

Being a victim of bullying of any kind can also increase the chances of substance abuse. The more common substances abused in these cases is usually alcohol and marijuana. We already know that there are implications for both our mental and physical health with bullying, however, when we add a substance abuse issue, the impact on our mental health multiplies. Along with our negative thought patterns, we now also have an addiction to battle. Often victims of bullying will turn to these substances to escape from their reality and numb or dull these thought patterns. However, the addiction itself can encourage and strengthen these patterns. This behavior is anti-social and will withdraw the individual further, causing less motivation to engage in social interactions and decrease general day to day function. This will also have an impact on any positive and supportive relationships that are in their lives, and therefore can become self-destructive 9.

Bullying is a global issue which seems to be prevalent in many different societies and cultures. As a whole, we are more aware of bullying, and more attention, time and effort is being put into creating healthier environments and relationships. On a personal level, there are some small changes that you can make to allow you to feel safer and encourage you to regain some of your power, confidence and self-esteem.

  1. Stay Safe. As soon as you are uncomfortable and don’t feel safe in a situation, leave. Engage the help of others whether that be in the form of law enforcement, help hotlines or friends and family for support. They are all there to help you.
  2. Keep your distance. Where possible don’t engage with your bully, they are not worth your time or your energy and your self-worth is not tied to their opinions of you.
  3. Communicate. Talk about your experiences with those that you trust, a hotline, therapist, colleague, friend or family member. Suffering in silence only increases those negative thoughts. If you remain quiet about the bullying you’re experiencing, it can encourage the bully to repeat and intensify the behavior. Knowing that there is no consequence to their actions can mean the bully only escalates the abusive behaviours. Talking to someone about your experiences is a great stress relief for you but can also better equip you to deal with these actions.
  4. When interaction between you and your bully does occur, keep your cool. Reactions are what bullies thrive on. Think before you react, whether it is with a clear, concise response or simply keeping your composure, bullies are thrown off balance if they don’t receive the reaction they expect. This is not to say that you allow them to do what they like to you and you give no response. You can stick up for yourself, but responding in anger or embarrassment is the reaction they expect.
  5. In workplaces, it is important to recognize when bullying is occurring. When you realise that this is happening, put some barriers in place to safe guard yourself. Where possible, have a third-party present throughout your interactions with your bully and use formal communication through written media – there is a paper trail that can always be looked back upon 10.

Of course, these points don’t apply to everyone or every situation but they can be some good starting points. If you or someone you know is struggling with bullying, then please seek help. At the bottom of this article you will find links to several different places you can turn to for help. For help with some of the mental health side effects of bullying, reach out to our Therapists at Shore Therapy for some professional help.

HelpLines & More information:

Lifeline: 0800 543 354 (available 24/7)

Kidsline: 0800 543 754 (available 24/7)

The Raid Movement: http://www.theraidmovement.co.nz/

NetSafe: https://www.netsafe.org.nz/

REFERENCES:
1 https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/bully 2018
2 https://www.bullyingfree.nz/about-bullying/what-is-bullying/
3 https://www.victoria.ac.nz/education/research/current-research-activity/new-research-into-bullying/Bullying-in-NZ-Schools.pdf (Green, Harcourt, Mattioni & Prior, 2013)
4O’Driscoll, M. P.,Cooper-Thomas, H. D., Bentley, T., Catley, B. E., Gardner, D. H., & Trenberth, L. (2011). Workplace bullying in New Zealand: A survey of employee perceptions and attitudes. Asia Pacific Journal of Human Resources, 49(4), 390- 408. doi:10.1177/1038411111422140
5 Steiner-Fox, H. W., Dutt, S. J., Christiansen, S. J., Newton, H. J., Matika, C. M., Lindsay, C., Sare, M. H. , Kapeli, S. A., & Stronge, S. (2016). Rates of cyberbullying among women and men in New Zealand in 2015. NZAVS Policy Brief, 3.
6 https://www.mentalhealth.org.nz/assets/Suicide/2016-2017-annual-provisional-suicide-figures-Final-version-Embargoed-midday-28-August-2017.pdf
7 Ford, King, Priest & Kavanagh, (2017), Bullying and mental health and suicidal behavior among 14 to 15 year olds in a representative sample of Australian Children. http://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/0004867417700275
8 Gini & Pozzoli, (2009). Association Between Bullying and Psychosomatic Problems: A Meta-analysis. American Academy of Paediatrics, vol123:Is3
9 Radliff, Wheaton, Robinson & Morris, (2012), Illuminating the relationship between bullying and substance use among middle and high school youth. Addictive Behaviours, vol37:Is4
10 Ni, (2016), 8 Keys to Handling Adult Bullies https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/communication-success/201611/8-keys-handling-adult-bullies

Pornography Addiction

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With access to the internet and cell phone apps in everyday life becoming the norm, it is not surprising that access to pornography andPornography Addiction sexual images has also become easier. Using pornography is not in itself a damaging or unhealthy behaviour, however, it is becoming increasing clear that it does have an addictive quality and recently has been known to impact couples in relationship. Relationships can be adversely affected by the addictive influences of pornography and numerous couples are finding it difficult to create intimacy and often the motivation for sex, and foreplay is severely diminished.

It has been noted that there are a number of factors that can influence the ‘usage’ of pornographic images. It is generally based on stress levels, family circumstances, emotional wellbeing, relationship status, etc.

If you are worried or concerned about your involvement with pornography, Skinner describes seven levels of pornographic usage that might help you identify whether gaining professional support would be beneficial for your well being.

Pornography Addiction Stages

Level  1: using pornography, pornographic images or sexual images once or twice a year.

Level 2: using pornography, pornographic images or sexual images two to six times a year.

Level 3: using pornography, pornographic images or sexual images once a month – though the usage of pornographic content for several days and then stopping (binging) can also occur at this stage.

Level 4 – 6: using pornography, pornographic images or sexual images increasingly with more binges and fewer days between each binge. The appearance of withdrawals are noted between each binge and individuals spend more time fantasising which impacts their lives.

Level 7: using pornography, pornographic images or sexual images for hours on a daily basis and the pornography images become more ‘hard-core’ and violent. The individual’s thoughts are dominated by sex and pornography and often act out their sexual fantasies – sometimes leading to violent crime.

 

Pornography Addiction Help

If you feel that you identify with level 3 or higher please reach out for professional help, as level 3 is noted as bordering problematic/compulsion.

If you would like to speak with anyone about pornography addiction or any other issues please feel free to contact us at Shore Therapy, Auckland Therapy and Counselling. To make a confidential, discrete appointment click here to visit our bookings page.

 

Reference: Tarver, M (2010). The effects of pornography addiction on marital consent.

 

Image courtesy of “Wilson”

Marriage Counselling

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Marriage and relationships are not always easy. Sometimes they are just down right hard!Marriage Counselling Experiencing issues with your significant other can severely impact every part of your life, whether it be work, family, social life, home life or even alone time! Often in our busy schedules we find it difficult to find time to work on our relationships, yet these are the people that we turn to in time of need. So therefore, it is essential that we look after our relationships so they are strong, healthy and resilient to all that life can throw at us.

 

How we can help

Shore Therapy can offer you both an allocated time for you and your partner to sit down with a professional and work on your relationship. Your therapist will offer you a calm, neutral and contained space for you both to hash out your issues and work towards a more resilient relationship. Your therapist may offer you insight into your behaviour, emotions and past experiences that may be affecting the health of your relationship.

If you are considering Marriage & Couples Counselling then please contact us for a confidential consult.

What is Psychotherapy

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What is Psychotherapy

The goal of Psychotherapy is to help people gain insight into their distresses, difficulties and issues. It encourages a greater understanding of their motivations, family dynamics and enables the discovery of more appropriate and healthy coping strategies. Psychotherapy often creates a change in a person’s outlook, thinking pattern and behaviour through the safe and structured exploration of feelings, beliefs, thoughts, traumatic events, and personal history.

Depending on the scope of your concern, therapy can be either long or short term. This is often a discussion between yourself and your therapist about which form of therapy best suits you. Sessions are provided for adults and youth on an individual basis, or couples and families.

What to expect during sessions

Each individual is different so their issues are different and each session is different. However, in each session your psychotherapist will encourage you to talk, explore, and delve into your feelings and experiences in a safe and structured way.

Each therapist is different and works in slightly different ways, but overall your therapist will encourage you to find the capacity to improve your understanding of yourself and work towards self acceptance and confidence.

What is the difference between Counselling and Psychotherapy

There is a general understanding that a psychotherapist can work with a wider variety of clients and diagnosis. Psychotherapists can offer more in-depth work when necessary.

The noted difference is seen in the length and depth of training involved and in the quality of the relationship between the client and therapist. PBANZ-registered psychotherapists are trained to Masters level.